It's always darkest before dawn...

2009-07-09T12:28:00.001-07:00

last night i went to hot yoga again. this time i was much more hydrated and prepared. another new adventure with a good friend :) thats what life is all about.

2009-07-02T10:50:00.000-07:00

i am back on the major workout/diet bandwagon. to get healthier and lsoe those last few pounds? yes. but more importantly because I plan on being somewhere hot in the beginning of August and need to look good, lol. I can be totally shallow - deal with it.

I am now considering cutting alcohol out until then. this has caused me great distress, as i recall of the fantastic moments of my life and most of them have invovled alcohol. that is so sad. let's review some of the top ten Dawn moments and the alcohol involved):

1. Getting locked in my trunk at a DMB concert in order to demonstrate my inner latch which allowed me to pop out (mike's hard iced tea - i know, i am a lightweight)

2. Dancing on the bar at Hogs and Heifers (espresso martinis, white wine, shots of blackhouse, corona - and yes, I did throw up , a lot)

3. Dancing on a pole at Jet in Vegas with birthday cake sunglasses, and it was not my brithday (day drinking - a lot- , cranberry and vodka, patron)

4. Pouring cups of water on myself while "Welcome to the Jungle" palyed at Rehab in Vegas (strictly 4 liters of vodka lemonades)

5. A night which shall remain a secret (well excluding the 4 people involved) - (a bottle of white wine, for me)

6. Lady Gaga + a garbage can + Dawn's infamous need to always pee (white wine, espresso vodka and a broken cell phone later)

7. The Ritz, hot sweaty gay boys and myself and then passing out in my bathtub and waking up in ice cold water (white wine and what i would like to believe is a roofie)

there are so many other moments, perhaps some I am too embarassed to now write.

I don't know if I can ban alcohol from my life. That is such a sad statement in retrospect.

2009-06-24T12:24:00.000-07:00

i dislike selfish people. a lot. i really do not like people who you basically throw yourself out there for who fail to reciprocate -ever. friendship a two way street.

put that in your juicebox and suck it.

that my bitching for the day and now I feel more positive energy flowing in. thanks.

2009-06-11T13:38:00.000-07:00

last night dom and i decided to hit up hooters for some beer and wings ...ummm yummm....and we are sitting there eating our wings when a group of guys sitting next to us interrupts us and asks if we are twins. really???? we don't see it. at all. dom was clearly offended (ps thanks for that one dg :) ) and I was just baffled, lol. Anyone care to give their input?

I am still laughing over it though, because these guys were dead serious and surprised when we said no.

2009-06-11T12:37:00.000-07:00

SO.....after a long week last week, and a somewhat emotional for me ....Greg decided we should go to the beach on Sunday....something that is unusual for him since he is not such a beach person....he likes the beach but he has the attention span of a four year old with ADD and no Ritalin and cannot lay on the sand for more than 10 minutes without getting antsy. I on the other hand have a Jewish gene which allows me to lay and tan for approximately 8 hours at a pop. easy.

So i jumped at this moment to make my yellow like skin color a little bronze.

We started on our journey and of course stopped off to get some delicious Italian hero sandwiches. Nothing says love like "let me flaunt myself in a bikini after eating a 12 inch semolina bread hero filled with chicken cutlet, fresh mozzarella, prosciutto and red peppers"

We get to the beach, eat half of our heroes and I am now ready to read and nap....I am laying on my back for a bit trying to be unhealthy and get a nice burn (whatever, I know it is bad for me but so is drinking 7 cranberry and vodkas in an hour and that has never dissuaded me)....I then start to get some lower back pains which are delicious and flip onto my stomach....well dear Lord in heaven ...thank Goodness I did!!! Approximately 3 minutes of stomach time and all of a sudden I get wet ..As I am about to start bitching about kids splashing buckets , Greg goes "Oh my God, a seagull just crapped on the towel" ....Well the towel, my friends, is not the only thing that got crapped on...so did my magazine, book, back, butt, and leg! Deliciously nasty! I entered into total girl mode and started sqirming and making vomit noises....Greg had to wash me off because I literally started panicking. normal, no?

Just one of the girls....

2009-05-26T08:20:00.000-07:00

So those words were spoken by my dear beloved Greg! lol

Last week, I was in desperate need of a mani/pedi/wax session because I started top resemble a wild animal. Greg decided he wanted his pre-summer pedicure so he joined me. We sat 4 chairs apart and bbm'd each other commenting on various people in the salon - as it was packed at 10 pm....I finished up before him and went into the back room to get my beard taken care of - yes, I am comfortable with saying that. As I layed there I heard Greg giggle as the lady scrubbed the bottom of his feet - and I mean giggle . His feet are so ticklish and this became readily apparent as he laughed harder and harder causing all the girls in the place to crack up. Ahhh, that's my boy!!!!

To top it off as he dropped me off afterward, he goes "Baby I had fun getting a pedicure with you, it's like I'm just one of the girls" Insert lots of laughter on my part right now.

I am a proud mama

2009-05-21T12:29:00.001-07:00

I have to blog about this because I am extremely happy. Happy for my friend. My best friend. I am happy for his great accomplishment. He has come so far and has made extremely proud of him. His accomplishment is great. We have seen each other grow in the past almost three years in many ways. He is great person with an undeniably great heart, and I am ever so thankful to have him by my side for so many of life's events - good, bad, indifferent. But this week, he made me proud. And he made himself proud - this I know. And for that, I am so happy for him. He deserves all that is good in life and he is well on his way to leading a most wonderful and fulfilling life. I am so proud of my best friend. :)

a day at a spa....not so much.

2009-05-18T06:49:00.000-07:00

So, on Friday, Kim had invited me to go to Spa Castle with her, Tiffany, and Jami for a relaxing day at the spa where we would indulge on massages, mud wraps, saunas, jet pools, and all that good stuff to make you feel alive. Well, I did feel alive in so many ways, too many ways.

I had heard a few things about the place and knew that in the separated pool areas (men on one side and women on the other) there were pools where full nudity is allowed. Well, no one warned me that it would be a smorgasbord of biscuits and muffins (and not the type you find in a bakery, if you catch my drift).....Now I know, I should be more mature and accept the human body etc....but really, I am sorry I cannot do this. I cannot walk around butt naked or go into pools and jacuzzis where women are frolicking nude. I do not want to see any other woman's gentlemen greeter (or lady greeter for that matter, because there were CLEARLY some lady lover which is ok with me as long as you don't go washing your lover with your vag). Thanks, but no thanks. This may be acceptable by many, especially in other cultures but it is not okay in Land of Dawnia. Really. We walked into the ladies only pool area and we were shocked. Lots of T&A everywhere. Not only nudity but there women sitting on stools washing each other. literally. like sitting behind one another loofahi-ng each other. Really, is that ever necessary in public? Negative.

Mud Wrap time. Well, let me start off by saying that me and Kim's friendship was taken to a whole new level during this treatment. Why? Oh, you know, because they scrubbed us, wrapped, and vioalted us simulataneously in the same room laying side by side. Fantastic. We layed faced down on beds and got soaked with water and then scrubbed. And boy, did these Koreans scrub us. They left no area untouched. I got confused and frightened right away and didn't know what to do. It's like that awkward moment when a waiter is telling you specials and you can't hear him so you just nod and smile. Well, I was not smiling - Was more like "wow, my ass crack is going to be smooth now too I guess" - I feel so ashamed even writing this now. They made us get up at one point and shower. This was considerably the least degrading part of the "wrap" .....On to the slopping of mud on our bodies and being wrapped in plastic wrap and left to ferment in this supposed healthy wrap. We were then washed off and then had to shower ourselves on again......Never had I felt so violated - little did I know what was in store for us in our massages in the afternoon.

We scoped out the pools on the roof which was actually quite nice - mainly because we weren't being touched by workers and bathing suits were required. I really enjoyed seeing people in bathing suits. It felt nice to not have to worry that the ledge i was sitting on was not just sat on by exposed cookie. After lunch, we all went for our massage....I opted for the hour massage, whereas the other girls went for 90 minutes - well am I glad because that was another odd, unique, and somewhat painful experience.

So Jami and I got put in the same room for the massage - apparently this place likes doing everything in twos....not sure what that is about but ok...at this point I'm game for anything and it was comforting knowing a friend was only a hop, skip, and vagina away in case I needed her. Well this massage was not so great, considering the women got on top of me and straddled me, pulled my legs behind my head, made my arms go behind my back in a way that should only be used for torture.....well i got out of that room asap after she was done and left poor Jami alone with her male masseuse...lo siento! But listen I had to go see sunlight and make myself know that the world was really a good place despite what was taking place in these Korean rooms of torture and humiliation.

So I waited for the girls to be done, and as many know I cannot just sit still so I ventured into each of the different types of saunas, which are unisex, and thankfully clothes are required (and by clothes I mean the ridiculous uniforms they give everyone to wear - fyi pink and orange are not flattering when one is pale!) ....I then decided to go downstairs for some ridiculous reason only to find a festive party of vaginas walking around...no towels, not even just a towel to cover up the nether region ....WHY???? Well, it's like a train wreck you cannot help but look, despite the forest areas which needed to be cleared asap. I ran upstairs like a child that had just been offered candy from a man driving a pedophile van....and waited for the girls, who all looked like I did as we left the "massage" - shocked, hurt, and bewildered.

This day was definitely one for the books. I will stick to red door where privacy is respected as is the vagina rule - no need to flash your vagina, ever! How I look forward to my next massage there where they will not go above my upper thigh, where my ass won't get massaged, and where no one straddles my back.

The day was overall and fun though simply because of the laughs incurred and the stories that will last a lifetime.

FYI if your loved one wants to go here, please be forewarned that they will come back a little sexually scared.

kids these days....

2009-05-14T08:36:00.000-07:00

my 10 year old nephew asked me last night if I knew who Dane Cook was....I told him yes and that i have seen him live. He was in shock - I guess he didn't think I would know. Apparently, the little one (who really is not so little anymore) watches Dane Cook bits on YouTube and was reciting some of it to me. yes. hello 2009. hello new generation. i can't stand how fast he is growing up. wahhhh.

i should not be allowed to watch tv AND run

2009-05-13T10:27:00.001-07:00

this morning as I am running on the treadmill at the gym (ps i have really come to enjoy running mainly because of how it is changing my body and not for any other reason) and so I am flipping stations, about to plug in my ipod instead when I come to Channel 2 news and their segments on everyday "Angels" - special people in our country.

Today's Angel was a young boy with cerebral palsy from Texas....He was chosen as an Angel and his dream was to be granted....his dream was to sit front row at a baseball game....Well as I write this I get goosebumps because the excitement this boy exuded as they wheeled him onto the grass at Citifield was so touching. He got to meet all the Mets, including his favorite David Wright....I am tearing now as i write this. Asd I am watching this and running I start to cry...like really cry....not because I feel bad for the boy but because of how happy I was to see how happy he was! He was truly so excited for this moment in his life!!! The followed up by having him live on the show where they presented him and his mom with gifts and a trip o Disney. He squealed with delight. And my tears continued to flow. Oy.

So of course what a wonderful moment for this young boy and how wonderful it made me feel to witness his joy.

BUT let's discuss how I can even allow myself to cry on the treadmill, running at full speed, at 8am in a somehwat busy gym. The man next to me was frightened and totally thought I was experiencing some menstrual related.

let's discuss

2009-05-11T07:09:00.000-07:00

i have decided that need to have a talk show. i shall call it let's discuss. picture: the soup meets chelsea handler meets tyra ala judge judy....yes, it will be fab and i also plan on screaming and pronouncing names and phrases like oprah! and giving out fab gifts and prizes like shamwows and the topsy turvy tomato planter.

in the meantime, i am still on the hunt....trying each and everyday. i know something will break. it has to.

gaga

2009-04-30T12:41:00.000-07:00

So today during lunch I went shopping for an outfit for the Lady Gaga concert. I have been on the hunt with no success. Well, I gallivanted int o a boutique on Austin Street and saw a very cute top/dress.....and of course, a gay boy works in this boutique - he totally reminds me of Lloyd from Entourage and I want to take him home and drink lemonade with him in my gazebo. Anyway, he decides that this dress will be amazing me for me....I liked it but as a top....I told him "Ummm did you check out mama's thighs?" And he says, "Girl, you got strong muscular legs, they're gorgeous, show them off" Well, this little nugget made my day. He made me put on heels to try the dress on (OF COURSE) and had me walk around the store....I kept saying "I can wear this over leggings, right" To which he replied "If you wear this over leggings, we are no longer friends" So I had to buy it because it was really nice, and it was on sale, and he made me giggle, as he held my hand and walked me around the store. I'm in love.

I will definitely be wearing leggings though. I do not need my biscuit getting the swine flu - that dress is SHORT and if someone sneezes/coughs I am DONE.

too busy for friendship?

2009-04-29T07:26:00.000-07:00

i totally get that people are busy. really, I do! I remember being in graduate school,working one full time job and one part time job and STILL I made time for my family, Greg, and my friends. It seems that many people have forgotten the etiquette of friendship. It is not just when it's convenient for YOU. I always manage to put others in front of myself and make myself available to people, especially when they need me. It's in my genes. I like to help others and be there for them.

But, in the past few months it has become more apparent that not everyone is as thoughtful or willing to make time for their "close friends". It sucks. It's part of growing up, I guess.....but it still hurts and is extremely frustrating.

But I am thankful for what I have and who I have and as mama says che sera sera. And maybe one day those people will learn and know you cannot just come around when it's ok for you. Friendships are a two way street :)

clowns are not funny.

2009-04-27T12:14:00.000-07:00

they aren't. they are creatures who lurk underneath fun colored garb, tons of scary makeup, rainbow colored frizz wigs, and big shoes...why, oh why? I do not know! my fear began as a young child when Bubbles came to my 7th birthday party and hit on some people....not cool mofo! it only continued with seeing the movie "It" and has been downhill ever since. These creatures of supposed fun follow me. I do not lie. About 2 years ago I was in line at the car wash and who gets out of the car in front of me, yes, a clown, in full gear.....And of course he is lurking near the cashier when I go to pay. They sense fear. He knew how scared I was as I kept my eyes down. I could feel his red nose thing beaming at me and his cabbage smelling hands, ugh!

And yesterday, once again, clowns entered my life. We were driving home from the beach when Greg goes "Dawn, don't look to the right", so of course first thing I do is look to the right. BAMMMMM a clown is driving next to us. then we stop in 7-11 and Greg runs in, and I look into the store and there is A DIFFERENT CLOWN, standing in front of him in line!

HONESTLY FML.

wow.

2009-04-27T08:27:00.000-07:00

what an amazing weekend. full of energy. making others laugh. making myself laugh. cooking an amazing dinner from scratch. i love feeding people and seeing the pleased looks on their faces :) sunshine. a couple of great workouts. Astoria rooftop. swinging in a hammock under the stars staring at the Manhattan skyline. laughs. good music. the beach. feeling the sand under my toes. laying on a blanket with the sun shining over me with my love by my side. a fun dinner with good friends. more laughs. a full belly. not caring about my full belly :)

ending up in your bathtub unknowingly must mean you got roofied, right?

2009-04-24T12:18:00.000-07:00

so here we go with one of infamous nights out in a gay bar. march 2009. nyc. the ritz. clearly we are trying to run into Madonna but this does not happen. we started drinking at vynl (i had one glass of wine)and then walked down to the Ritz (one of my most favorite dance establishments). it's already packed in there and we make our way to the bar. white wine it is for me and the boy.
we make our way to dance floor. the disco ball (yes, my friends a real disco ball) is spinning. we find a spot near the benches to place our drinks down so that we can dance. we keep and eye on our drinks as we shake our groove thing. at some point we get distracted by the boys hitting on my friend and i am giving my "yes, go for it" look or my "ummm you will vomit if you look at his face" look....this little game goes on for a while, and i meanwhile have finished two glasses of wine and am now sipping said friends. little did we know, that, and i believe this with all my heart , someone put something in his drink - possible the boy who i grabbed my friend away from. because he was a creeper. we leave shortly thereafter. i am buzzed but not terrible. put it this way, i have been in much worse states.

well i get home, lay in my bed, and start to feel as though someone is shaking my body upside down from the top of a building. i quickly get up and run to the bathroom. i throw up. hmmm....well this is odd.....3 1/2 glasses of wine would never ever do this to me....at this point my memory gets fuzzy.

i must have thought it was a good idea to climb into my bathtub and turn the shower on, for that is where i woke up over an hour later in ice cold water, with vomit on myself. delicious, right? i get myself into bed where i enter the world of slumber for approximately four hours. i wake up and feel as though i got mauled by large bears who had their way with me.
moral of le story: do not put your drinks down ANYWHERE. hold it. spill on yourself. bring a sippy cup. whatever you have to do. it will beat ending up in your bathtub looking and feeling liek a cold prune and not remembering getting in there.

fairy godmother duties.

2009-04-24T10:42:00.000-07:00

so as many know, i am a proud and hard working fairy godmother! laugh if you may, but it's true. my gay friends are some of my closest and my best. i have one extremely close friend, who shall remain nameless, who I go out with to various establishment catering to the gay community. i honestly have some of my best times in gay bars and clubs, for the following reasons: #1 they really do play the best dance music #2 i can actually dance and not care what the hell i look like, aka a leaping gazelle as some have termed it (alcohol is involved in this now infamous dance move) #3 the drinks are stronger #4 i do not have to worry about getting hit on # 5 a girl gets called any of the following multiple times in an outing to such places: hot, beautiful, gorgeous, fabulous, etc....overall its a good time and you feel good about yourself. and face it, girls need a boost every now and then, even it comes from someone (a gay boy) who will look better in your outfit then you will.

i think my nights out performing my duties as fairy godmother (the term fag hag is ugly and i don't like it!) could serve as a humor based novel in itself, and will therefore, start blogging about them more.

this weekend.

2009-04-23T12:26:00.000-07:00

this weekend is supposed to gorgeous. aka. i will wash the windows of my house (something i love doing, weird right), run outside, drive with all windows and sunroof open playing my music a little louder than i normally would. picnic?, Soho shopping?, brunch ala nyc?, ooooh the possibilities are endless!!!! i am really quite overjoyed for the weekend to be here.

hair removal mishap

2009-04-22T13:23:00.000-07:00

on this rainy Earth day I decided to go get my usual threading/wax combo...aka thread my eyebrows and get my cheek aka woman beard waxed....so i am laying on the table at the hands of this lovely 4"11 Indian lady....all of a sudden she is standing over me and goes "Oh my gosh, don't move" Well her accent combined with the thought of the boiling wax in her hand I laughed ...I didn't scream...I just laughed a nervous giggle and said "ummmm whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy" Needless to say she had spilled wax.....on my hair...as in the hair on my head.....the one part of my body I do not want hair removed from.......She immediately dipped my head in oils.....greasy ones....and she massaged my hair strands until all wax was out .

how awesome.

so here i sit at work with a greasy head of hair, but still intact and attached to my scalp....hey at least i am no longer the bearded lady.

i love eventful Wednesdays.

rainy days sometimes make you sunny inside

2009-04-21T10:24:00.000-07:00

yesterday when i left the gym it smelled Ike spring/summer rain, despite the temperature....i LOVE that smell....it reminds of when i was young and didn't care about getting wet or if my hair would frizz or if my shoes got wet....now i don't want to sit at work all day smelling like a wet dog with my hair which i took time to straighten to get gross and my leather pumps to get ruined....wow growing up makes one so much less fun.....Well I will not tolerate this.....So last night i put on my rain boots a pair of sweat pants and walked in the rain....I didn't care. It felt good. And it was fun! And I will keep that youth inside of me. cheeseball i know, but hey that's me :)

growing!

2009-04-17T11:22:00.000-07:00

i am growing up. that's why i have been in such turmoil. it has hit me hard. wow. but a good wow. now, that i finally figured it out. I have come to a very strong decision in my head about something life-changing and i plan on implementing this change in the very near future. it will take courage and lots of hope, but will lead to a great change. say your prayers for me kids. gracias.

a little sweeping....

2009-04-14T13:31:00.000-07:00

i am having a spring cleaning bonanza....literally and mentally....and it's so invigorating!

i am trying to remove the negative inside of me and around me .

i am cleaning out my closets. literally. i have filled up 5 bags full of clothes, shoes, and bags to give to those in need. this feels good on multiple levels because obviously there are people who have very little and if I can help them out than that's pretty fantastic and also on maybe a more selfish note it makes me feel good because many of these clothes are too big for me. in the past two years i have lost 56 pounds and it feels awesome on so many levels :)

i am cleaning up my life in a sense of reflecting on the past year and how much has changed. i have been through a lot in the past year personally wise - with friends - and it has been a tumultuous year but nonetheless a GREAT year, where I learned a lot about myself and about those close to me. i am ever so thankful for those whom I hold close to my heart.

AND i am proud to have kept my goal of traveling and exploring in 2009 going. Every month I promised to get myself away for at least an overnight stay outside of NY. And I have held true to this. It is important to get away and reflect, and relax and spend time with yourself and with a loved one or many loved ones :) I have not yet decided where May will take me but I look forward to it.

words.

2009-04-03T07:45:00.000-07:00

i have come to learn how important communication really is. on all levels. with everyone in my life. i have also learned that the way i communicate with one person will not necessarily translate over into the way i communicate with others.

i am learning to communicate with people ultimately very close to me who I talk to every day yet fail to "communicate" with .

p.s. YAYYY for me for getting through a REALLLLLLLLLLY rough week.

reflection

2009-04-01T11:41:00.001-07:00

this week has been a week of reflection so far and lots of thinking and lots of space.....much needed space perhaps. it has n0t been easy and i have never felt lonelier at points but i am getting back to myself and knowing what a truly independent soul i have ....but also knowing how another soul has complemented mine.

mistakes are made. we all make them . but the funny thing about life is that mistakes can be forgiven, we can grow and learn....especially when you love yourself first and foremost.

growing.

2009-03-26T11:52:00.000-07:00

I am growing up. It's a reality I face every day. I think we all grow in different ways each and every day. Sometimes we regress, and I truly feel one needs to do that in order to grow. I am trying to find my next stepping stone in life and it's making me feel complicated. But I am okay with that.

ummmm

2009-03-24T09:11:00.001-07:00

why do people ask for my HONEST opinion and then when I give it...bitch at me. good friends are honest. i, therefore, am a good friend. if you don't want my honest opinion,don't ask me for it.

why?

2009-03-20T11:11:00.000-07:00

why do women in the gym find it necessary to walk around the locker room completely ala birthday suit....for about 10 minutes...having random convo's, checking their butts in the mirror, standing on the scale, sitting on the benches...etc....WHY? AND WHYYYYYYYY did one of these such culprits decide to graze her naked butt along my gym bag this morning. i seriously got the disinfectant spray from my non-English speaking nysc worker and doused my bag. said bag will now be sold on Craig's list. that's my little gym story for today.

back to the swing of things!

2009-02-26T12:45:00.000-08:00

well, it has been forever since i have blogged! I really need to get back on it! I am making lots of moves and changes in my life right now....all for a positive change and something I want. It has been difficult to grow and understand what it is I really want in life, yet I have never been so sure of where my life is going, as I am right now :)

I have also begun to compile past letters / notes/ thoughts...in hopes of beginning my memoir! that is really exciting for me!

i will be writing more :)

new year!

2009-01-05T12:02:00.000-08:00

new year . new beginnings. my goals for this year.

*go away. far away. get my passport stamped. see a new exciting place.

*travel lots within the US. take last minute trips - although most of our getaways are last minute. but i want to really see so many more places.

*continue to let new people in my life, but nurture the strong friendships i currently have.

*let go of heartache.

*forgive

*love those around me even more and show them that I do.

*not feel bad so much....because I really always think about others so much and maybe a little too much sometimes. think about myself.

*get healthier, in mind body and spirit.

*LET GO!

that's all for now. wishing all a happy 2009, a year filled lots of love and lots of laughs ! xxoo

Holiday lurve

2008-12-23T13:02:00.000-08:00

let's discuss how excited I am for the Holidays this year!!!! I am generallt excited every year, but last year I was under some stress and although I didnt enjoy time with famiyl; and friends, there were soem clouds overhead......this year I feel free from it...and although there are days where I am upset and stressed I realize how lucky I am to have so much goodness in my life, in all forms. the love that surrounds me is bountiful and when times get tough I sit back and breathe it in. Ok enough mush and gush......let's discuss the Holidays thus far!!!!

Best story so far..... My Mom is on one of her many Holiday calls to a cousin-type relative who informs her on the passing of another relative...my Mom calls me up right away to tell me not to mail out this relatives Christmas card (obviously) ....instead she sends a sympathy card and Mass card to his daughter.....WELLLLLLLL my Mom gets a call from his daughter who informs that he is, in fact, very alive! When my Mom told me this I cracked up....she felt terrible of course.....but a misunderstanding in that people in this family all have the same friggin names makes things get a little confusing!!! Well I thought this was just hilarious. Merry Christmas! Congrats you're not dead after all!! Well it was nice news to hear.

My big change for the start of 2009 has been my hair. back to my roots . literally. well actually darker and me likey.

I am excited to go to Rockefeller Center tonight . I love going every year. It just makes Christmas...well Christmas. :)

Awkward?

2008-12-12T08:15:00.000-08:00

So last night at the first Holiday dinner of the year I once again was reaffirmed in believing that waiters reading specials at Italian restaurants is such an awkward moment.....Am I wrong?

home is where the hair is

2008-12-11T12:27:00.000-08:00

please tell me why there was a woman dying her hair in the women's locker room at the gym this morning. it confused me immensely because I just don't think that is something you do at the gym. Am I wrong?

FYI I think I am starting an "Am I wrong?" section in my blog....because so many times I ask myself that question when faced with such quandaries regarding the actions of others

thank you.

2008-11-26T11:11:00.000-08:00

As Thanksgiving is tomorrow, I wanted to make a list of all the things I am thankful for...in no particular order, basically.

my Mom. my rock. my basis of all goodness in my life.
my Mom's cooking. true story.
my family. they are the source of love and laughter in my life.
my nephews who teach me more about life and about myself than anyone else could.
Greg. my soul mate. the most unselfish person I know. honestly. and the person I can see myself sharing a denture cup with.
Romeo. for cuddling with me when I need the world to go away.
waking up each and every day.
my thighs, which I normally complain about, but today I embrace as a strong feature which allow me to walk, run, dance, and boogie all through the night.
my job. at this point having a job is something anyone should be thankful for.
my past. it made me who I am today.
good friends. old friends.
Dominick. no words can explain the friendship we have. so don't attempt it.
Kimbercakes. my sounding board. Melissa mamasita. a true angel on this earth.
new friends.
friends lost. they have taught me valuable lessons.
my extensive shoe collection.
the sun on any day.

AND A LOT MORE :) but that's all i want to write for now.

Prop 8. Take some action. Now. Please.

2008-11-11T11:33:00.000-08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cVUecPhQPqY

important day!!

2008-11-04T07:54:00.000-08:00

I have been really busy and have not had time to write down my thoughts ,feelings, daily humor happenings.....BUT!!!!!! Today I must just write abouthow important it is to VOTE! PLEASE! Educate yourself on the issues & candidates! I will bnevertell you who tovote for or try to convince youwho should be elected but I implore you tojust go vote! It is our given right and it is extremely important!!!!!

A funny election 2008 story.....my 6 year old nephew Brandon participated in pseudo-elections in school and so we asked him who he voted for....he promptly stated Obama! And so I asked him why? because of course I want to hear this brilliant and humorous child's reasoning.....he said it's simply because McCain is to old and this is when Brandon started tellnig a speech as Joghn McCain, and a few lines into it he starts drooling and throws himself on the ground as though he died, because according to hm that is what will happen to McCain. That my friends, is why I LOVE MY FAMILY.

new (old) kids

2008-10-28T10:43:00.000-07:00

so last night i went to see "NKOTB" at MSG....let's discuss!! It was absolutely the loudest, most energetic, and funnest concert I have ever been to.....and considering I have been to approximately 40 concerts in my life....that's a big compliment....It was just down right FUN. They played new songs and they played a lot of their old stuff which was just fun to sing along to....and of course wave your arms to.....HANGIN' TOUGH

It was an overall good night, with lots of laughs especially watching Greg sing along to the songs and doing the infamous moves.....hahahahaha

Maybe my most favorite shirt last night . a pregnant woman who wrote on her shirt "New Kid on the Block" with an arrow pointing to her belly bulge......wow i feel so old because their main demographic is now 25-32...aka getting married, having kids, etc......that is a scary thought. I am going to sleep with my NKOTB dolls tonight to feel young again.

honestly?!

2008-10-24T08:44:00.000-07:00

there is a trainer at my gym who claims to be a former Rockette......ok here's the thing though, she is not the trainer that you look at and go "wow, i want her body" NOPE. NEGATIVE. NON-AFFIRMATIVE. NEIN. Now I am not trying to be mean, but this woman isn't the nicest person, i.e. She had her stuff all over the bench in front of her locker.....of course the locker I chose that morning was right next to the one she decided to just move her house into.....and she would not move over, she didn't move any of her stuff....just sat there reviewing her binder of crap.....really though. that's just rude. So I do not believe she is former Rockette.....mainly because she says it in every conversation I hear her having....you could tell her "I'm thirsty" and she would respond "Well, when I was a Rockette, we were provided wit hall the water we could drink" Meanwhile, her body is not fantastic and I am only making judgment because as a trainer and a supposed former Rockette you should look good. And she, my friends, does not. And her personality only makes it worse. how sad. but i do enjoy her tales of her fantasy former life.

A powerful release ala typing

2008-10-20T12:49:00.000-07:00

so the other night i had a dream that i woke up and all my teeth were falling out......obviously i woke up and brushed my teeth for about 13 minutes....then Kim researched and found that these dreams tend to signify some of the following : anxiety, fear of transition, and fear of being lied to....all of which i am really experiencing. i have hit a rough spot in the road....when i go out i am anxious. i am not me. i feel terrible because i know people notice and i hate that. i am not THAT person....but i guess we all get there at points and i am currently there...but i am working on bringing myself out of it. no more tears. just building myself up. making my heart, soul, and mind more open and clear .....and not letting others affect ME. p.s. these feelings really are not brought on by a specific person or specific action....this truly deals with me and only me, and in some sense i am more okay with knowing it only involves changes within me.....because i can control me. . just had to release that negativity from my brain. thanks

busy bee?

2008-10-15T10:30:00.000-07:00

When I was asked on Friday what plans i had in store for the long weekend my answer was "NOTHING, and I am looking forward to it" Well Friday night I spent some qt with Greg and it was much needed!!! But that's where "nothing" ended.....Saturday I enjoyed a trip ala blue bay diner with Greg and Dom....where food and laughs were enjoyed -as always....I then hit the gym for a surprise weekend visit and that helped boost me up because I did need a boost....Saturday night Joanna decided to celebrate her birthday - yay - and I had a lot fun....once again laughs, friends, and food....my favorite combination, oh along with some pinot grigio which always helps me to laugh :)

On Sunday I spent the day with Greg and was then had a last minute opportunity to go see Madonna at MSG....so Dominick and I busted a move to get dressed and go.....I am huge Madonna fan....always have been....even if I don't always agree with her words, I completely agree with her music and we rocked out.....She played all of her new stuff AS WELL AS a lot of the songs that made my generation know her so well....including Vogue to the 4 minutes beat and Borderline with an electric guitar...She also played Into the Groove while flashing artwork by Keith Haring in the background.....fyi google this artist 00 he is awesome and has a good message :) Overall, a great night, listening to great music, with my great friend !!!!

On Monday, Kim, Dom and I ventured into the city to do some shopping and then to go up to up to Greg's studio to visit him on air.....we get into the studio and there are 4 Penthouse Pets being interviewed....So if you ever wonder why Greg always proclaims "I LOVE MY JOB"....that is clearly why.....hahahaha.....it was a fun night ans we went for drinks after with some Sirius folk....and we ended the night wit ha trip to Lombardi's downtown....ummm yummm.

I also want to bring to attention the story of Matthew Shepard....PLEASE look in into the story if his life and his tragic end....He was a close friend of Romaine Patterson, the host of the show Greg is an associate producer on .....Hate still exists and it saddens me in all forms and this story has hits home for me and it should really hit home for all as HATE is never acceptable and discrimination in all forms is tragic! If you have HBO please watch The Laramie Project...rent it...buy it....just watch it!

ALSO, on another note regarding equality, if you know people who live in California please have them research Prop 8.....i wish I could vote no to this proposition but only CA residents can...so please make them aware! thanks.

I have lots of new fun gym stories and promise to catch up on them :)

i explored my 2% German roots

2008-10-07T08:36:00.000-07:00

so i did not blog for a few days...mainly because I was busy relaxing this weekend :) kind of an oxy-moron but not so much....it takes planning for me to actually relax!!!

Well, Sunday I actually headed into the city with my two favorite boys where we went to an Oktoberfest fair which turned out to be anything but that and instead we got to look at about 32 tables of "pashmina" scarves, $5 Victoria's secret bras, and a mud mask vendor where they guy proceeded to tell us as we walked by "give me a minute and i will give you the best service ever"....clearly I cracked up liek a 9 year old school boy at this statement......well since we all were looking forward to beer and sausage we headed to Liederhosen on Grove Street downtown and enjoyed some delish German food and more importantly had a couple of pitchers of Spaten....YUMMM....and if you know anything you know le Dom and I do not handle the beer so much...Greg on the other hand can drink beer like it's water, lol.....SOOO clearly we needed to walk around after to walk of the beer??!!!? I absolutely love Sunday afternoons in the fall in Manhattan!! :)

yesterday I felt like I was dying, I had the worst migraine ever and my eyes were literally tearing from the pain.....but by last night post a meal from the mamadukes i felt like a new person!! :) so here I am at work today - despite having a cold sore - blah - and no i an to a dirty hooker pirate i am fighting a cold - namely a cold which Greg had for the past 5 days - I feel good today, lots of positive energy around me :)

PS I need brown riding boots. Any suggestions? Grazie. PPS. I want to plan a January getaway.

laughter

2008-10-03T07:39:00.000-07:00

so it feels like it is officially autumn and this excites me. i loveeeee fall weather . i love jeans with long sleeve shirts. i love boots. i love sweats. i love lots. AND this year I have decided to celebrate my 5% German Heritage and attend Oktoberfest in NYC....maybe next year I will go to Germany for such events....oooh good idea!!! I like how I tell myself when I have a good idea - it encourages me. lol.

Soooo randomly I decided to start looking through texts on my phone...although I say my mom keeps too many things and doesn't like throwing things out, I realize I do this with the following things : cards. old credit card statements. and texts. odd. sooo as i read through texts from the past 8 months (i would have had them from last august had my lovely piece of crap treo not crash), i laughed a LOT, smiled a LOT, and even got a little blah from reading them.....a lot has changed this year....A LOT!!! Don't get me wrong a lot has changed for the better, not only for myself but for those around me.....but a lot has also happened that has hurt me.....but I will not focus on that, I am going to focus on the litany of texts that literally crack me up.....mainly those from the ones I hold closest to my heart when they are under the influence of alcohol....and then i read the ones i have sent when I am, as you would say, imbibing. ahhh good times. apparently i like to make up my own words and add lots of extra letters to words when I text while I am "enjoying my night out".

PS SO EXCITED!! for the Blackberry Storm which I am on a waiting list for. I hope I don't break it in 30 seconds of possessing it.

west coast

2008-10-01T09:16:00.001-07:00

I realized I need to go to Cali this Spring....I want to go to LA and San Diego. I want to drive up the west coast. I want to share this with fun people. let me know. fo' rizzle. I also want my hair to be grown out right now.... I cannot stand it. it needs to get to my shoulders by November. i need to be able to wear fun has this winter without looking like a little lad....excellent. Let's discuss un-ending need to want to help others. I think I need a career change? Or maybe just start volunteering? Any ideas? Please suggest - grazie. I am scattered in thought today, obviously.

restful weekend

2008-09-29T07:57:00.000-07:00

i had a good weekend....despite the absence of vodka....oh wait we met up briefly last night...all kidding aside, i had a great weekend because I kept it low-key, caught up on personal stuff, caught up with friends, and spent some much needed Q-T with the boy....I also got to spend time with my nephews - a time I value so much because they are awesome - they are kind-hearted, funny, genuine, and they fill my heart with lots of love and can ALWAYS make me smile, and more importantly I love making them giggle!!! On a more reminiscent note I am just finding it very funny - well not hahaha funny - but maybe just weird - how you can go from extremely close to people and within a shore amount of time you are like strangers how know nothing of what is going on the other's life....this saddens me, yet I know life brings us to exactly where we are supposed to be. right?

sangria.

2008-09-26T12:24:00.000-07:00

some people discuss "creative juices" ...as in I need something to stimulate my creative juices......well I have decided sangria is my creative juice. literally. it makes me laugh and more importantly it makes me make others laugh, as depicted in the picture to the right...yes that is a lampshade that we found on the street...Myself, Lilia, Kim, and Alison - all graduates of the fine institution known as THE Mary Louis Academy decided to get some dinner and drinks (obviously) at Pio Pio....I have known Lilia since I was 4 - we went elementary school together...and Kim and Alison I both met at TMLA...they are a year ahead of us...well the food was delish, the Sangria - AMAZING...and the laughs were non-stop at dinner.....as we walked back the car the Sangria I guess flowed throughout our body and caused us to rummage through garbage along the sidewalk....where aforementioned lampshade was found, along with a coffee table, broken mirror, and a boombox.....I was official named Miss Yackson Heights 2008....it was a great night with great girls, and LOTS of laughs.... And to end the evening I went to a Ciao! party for Chris, Greg's co-worker at Sirius - whom i adore...he makes me laugh!! I clearly love people who make laugh. (P.S. I did actually make it to the gym this morning but it was empty and therefore I do not have any fun stories....and right now I am to tired to go into a past story) . I am excited to wear my Ferragamo rain boots tonight. They are the reason I LOVE rainy days. :) xxoo

work out. (i love that show btw)

2008-09-25T10:04:00.000-07:00

So this morning at the gym (side note: i will be discussing my journey along the fantastic fitness journey i have embarked on since last April periodically) i ran into this woman who I used to see when i first started going to the gym (a gym which shall remain nameless mainly because I have so many wondrous tales from said gym and wish to not be sued)....well anyway, when I sued to see this woman we would smile, nod, say hello, etc....when you see people everyday you give a friendly gesture - well at least I do - many do not - especially the skinny bitch who decided to cocoa butter her 90lb body in the sauna - or the lady who slams her body into the walls of the sauna while massaging her body and sticking her ass in my face - true effin story.....once again, I digress....anyway the woman I saw this morning gives me a big smile and acknowledges that we haven't seen her in a long time...She then proceeds to say how much awe she is in as to how much weight I have lost....it felt really good to hear it, I have to tell you.....Well this woman USED to have the biggest badunka-dunk - I am not being mean just stating a fact....well let me tell you this woman looked fantastic and i had to tell her....She was beaming from ear to ear and it felt good to see that because I know that feeling..... My attempts to lose weight have been tough and I have worked hard to get where I am at....throughout the past year I learned that not only did I want to lose weight, I wanted to become healthier....Well the latter of those two has not been so successful. I abuse my body with many different vices AKA vodka, and believe that by working out 4-5 times a week I negate the effects of alcohol and other vices I impose on my body. Laugh. Disagree. I don't care. This bitch has cardio-ed her life out in the past year and I feel damn good about it. This is where i have to give a shout-out to three people who have helped me immensely with enhancing my love/hate (more love than hate believe it or not) relationship with the gym : 1. Greg- he has been there to support me and encourage me, despite his "I love you no matter what" creed: 2: Kim aka Kimberdoodle - my gym partner....she shares my desire to have a hot body and has been there to laugh with me at the gym as we observe the daily whackos (more stories to come - I PROMISE): and lastly 3. Dominick....he has been there to encourage me to work out, even on Saturdays when we decide to go together or to go to a class at night (more stories from the night crew), he has helped me to learn about good food/bad food - although I cannot give up ANY food that i LOVE - i just cut back...sometimes...lol.... I really have to say without the support of these 3 people and my family (namely my brother Michael who tells me that I am a skinny bitch - fyi I AM NOT...well a bitch, sometimes, skinny I will never be)....I would not have been able to feel better about myself. Ok here's one of my first gym tales: Yoga class at 8pm....about 15 people in the class, I position myself on my mat in the back of room directly behind mesh shorts boy....he looks straight to me - average looking - t-shirt, long mesh shorts...nothing fabulous, if you know what I am saying....well we are doing that pose where you get on all fours and lift one leg straight back and the opposite arm directly straight in front of you - the instructor then tells us to focus on a point in front of us to keep balance - so I look straight ahead - right at Mr. Mesh Shorts where I then notice that a pair of underwear was not in his outfit decision-making plan for this fine evening . Why?????????????????? I don't get it. Unless he was hoping that it would attract whoever he was trying to attract. gag. I vomited in my mouth that night, but I also laughed a lot. When I read about using balls at the gym to help me gain core strength that was not what I expected.

A beginning of a blogger

2008-09-24T12:36:00.000-07:00

So kids I have decided to start blogging....why? who knows? well, actually, I have 2 human inspirational bloggers - one who I know very well....Ms. Melissa Trentadue - I have been reading her blog from the start and enjoy it...It helps me keep up with her when our lives don't allow us to see each other as much as we like.....The other person is Jenn Lancaster....an author who I have never met personally but whose books I LOVEEEEEEE LOOOVEEEEE reading. The biotch is funny and I laugh out loud at her books. Sooooo I have decided to start writing things down....basically anything and everything.....funny, happy, sad, serious, whatever. If it strikes my fancy (who says that anymore ?!) I will write it down. If you read it, great!! If not, I won't ever know....so really it doesn't matter...lol. yay for Dawn moving into the 21st Century 8 years later.