a little sweeping....

i am having a spring cleaning bonanza....literally and mentally....and it's so invigorating!

i am trying to remove the negative inside of me and around me .

i am cleaning out my closets. literally. i have filled up 5 bags full of clothes, shoes, and bags to give to those in need. this feels good on multiple levels because obviously there are people who have very little and if I can help them out than that's pretty fantastic and also on maybe a more selfish note it makes me feel good because many of these clothes are too big for me. in the past two years i have lost 56 pounds and it feels awesome on so many levels :)

i am cleaning up my life in a sense of reflecting on the past year and how much has changed. i have been through a lot in the past year personally wise - with friends - and it has been a tumultuous year but nonetheless a GREAT year, where I learned a lot about myself and about those close to me. i am ever so thankful for those whom I hold close to my heart.

AND i am proud to have kept my goal of traveling and exploring in 2009 going. Every month I promised to get myself away for at least an overnight stay outside of NY. And I have held true to this. It is important to get away and reflect, and relax and spend time with yourself and with a loved one or many loved ones :) I have not yet decided where May will take me but I look forward to it.

words.

i have come to learn how important communication really is. on all levels. with everyone in my life. i have also learned that the way i communicate with one person will not necessarily translate over into the way i communicate with others.

i am learning to communicate with people ultimately very close to me who I talk to every day yet fail to "communicate" with .

p.s. YAYYY for me for getting through a REALLLLLLLLLLY rough week.

reflection

this week has been a week of reflection so far and lots of thinking and lots of space.....much needed space perhaps. it has n0t been easy and i have never felt lonelier at points but i am getting back to myself and knowing what a truly independent soul i have ....but also knowing how another soul has complemented mine.

mistakes are made. we all make them . but the funny thing about life is that mistakes can be forgiven, we can grow and learn....especially when you love yourself first and foremost.

growing.

I am growing up. It's a reality I face every day. I think we all grow in different ways each and every day. Sometimes we regress, and I truly feel one needs to do that in order to grow. I am trying to find my next stepping stone in life and it's making me feel complicated. But I am okay with that.

ummmm

why do people ask for my HONEST opinion and then when I give it...bitch at me. good friends are honest. i, therefore, am a good friend. if you don't want my honest opinion,don't ask me for it.

why?

why do women in the gym find it necessary to walk around the locker room completely ala birthday suit....for about 10 minutes...having random convo's, checking their butts in the mirror, standing on the scale, sitting on the benches...etc....WHY? AND WHYYYYYYYY did one of these such culprits decide to graze her naked butt along my gym bag this morning. i seriously got the disinfectant spray from my non-English speaking nysc worker and doused my bag. said bag will now be sold on Craig's list. that's my little gym story for today.

back to the swing of things!

well, it has been forever since i have blogged! I really need to get back on it! I am making lots of moves and changes in my life right now....all for a positive change and something I want. It has been difficult to grow and understand what it is I really want in life, yet I have never been so sure of where my life is going, as I am right now :)

I have also begun to compile past letters / notes/ thoughts...in hopes of beginning my memoir! that is really exciting for me!

i will be writing more :)