Just one of the girls....

So those words were spoken by my dear beloved Greg! lol

Last week, I was in desperate need of a mani/pedi/wax session because I started top resemble a wild animal. Greg decided he wanted his pre-summer pedicure so he joined me. We sat 4 chairs apart and bbm'd each other commenting on various people in the salon - as it was packed at 10 pm....I finished up before him and went into the back room to get my beard taken care of - yes, I am comfortable with saying that. As I layed there I heard Greg giggle as the lady scrubbed the bottom of his feet - and I mean giggle . His feet are so ticklish and this became readily apparent as he laughed harder and harder causing all the girls in the place to crack up. Ahhh, that's my boy!!!!

To top it off as he dropped me off afterward, he goes "Baby I had fun getting a pedicure with you, it's like I'm just one of the girls" Insert lots of laughter on my part right now.

I am a proud mama

I have to blog about this because I am extremely happy. Happy for my friend. My best friend. I am happy for his great accomplishment. He has come so far and has made extremely proud of him. His accomplishment is great. We have seen each other grow in the past almost three years in many ways. He is great person with an undeniably great heart, and I am ever so thankful to have him by my side for so many of life's events - good, bad, indifferent. But this week, he made me proud. And he made himself proud - this I know. And for that, I am so happy for him. He deserves all that is good in life and he is well on his way to leading a most wonderful and fulfilling life. I am so proud of my best friend. :)

a day at a spa....not so much.

So, on Friday, Kim had invited me to go to Spa Castle with her, Tiffany, and Jami for a relaxing day at the spa where we would indulge on massages, mud wraps, saunas, jet pools, and all that good stuff to make you feel alive. Well, I did feel alive in so many ways, too many ways.

I had heard a few things about the place and knew that in the separated pool areas (men on one side and women on the other) there were pools where full nudity is allowed. Well, no one warned me that it would be a smorgasbord of biscuits and muffins (and not the type you find in a bakery, if you catch my drift).....Now I know, I should be more mature and accept the human body etc....but really, I am sorry I cannot do this. I cannot walk around butt naked or go into pools and jacuzzis where women are frolicking nude. I do not want to see any other woman's gentlemen greeter (or lady greeter for that matter, because there were CLEARLY some lady lover which is ok with me as long as you don't go washing your lover with your vag). Thanks, but no thanks. This may be acceptable by many, especially in other cultures but it is not okay in Land of Dawnia. Really. We walked into the ladies only pool area and we were shocked. Lots of T&A everywhere. Not only nudity but there women sitting on stools washing each other. literally. like sitting behind one another loofahi-ng each other. Really, is that ever necessary in public? Negative.

Mud Wrap time. Well, let me start off by saying that me and Kim's friendship was taken to a whole new level during this treatment. Why? Oh, you know, because they scrubbed us, wrapped, and vioalted us simulataneously in the same room laying side by side. Fantastic. We layed faced down on beds and got soaked with water and then scrubbed. And boy, did these Koreans scrub us. They left no area untouched. I got confused and frightened right away and didn't know what to do. It's like that awkward moment when a waiter is telling you specials and you can't hear him so you just nod and smile. Well, I was not smiling - Was more like "wow, my ass crack is going to be smooth now too I guess" - I feel so ashamed even writing this now. They made us get up at one point and shower. This was considerably the least degrading part of the "wrap" .....On to the slopping of mud on our bodies and being wrapped in plastic wrap and left to ferment in this supposed healthy wrap. We were then washed off and then had to shower ourselves on again......Never had I felt so violated - little did I know what was in store for us in our massages in the afternoon.

We scoped out the pools on the roof which was actually quite nice - mainly because we weren't being touched by workers and bathing suits were required. I really enjoyed seeing people in bathing suits. It felt nice to not have to worry that the ledge i was sitting on was not just sat on by exposed cookie. After lunch, we all went for our massage....I opted for the hour massage, whereas the other girls went for 90 minutes - well am I glad because that was another odd, unique, and somewhat painful experience.

So Jami and I got put in the same room for the massage - apparently this place likes doing everything in twos....not sure what that is about but ok...at this point I'm game for anything and it was comforting knowing a friend was only a hop, skip, and vagina away in case I needed her. Well this massage was not so great, considering the women got on top of me and straddled me, pulled my legs behind my head, made my arms go behind my back in a way that should only be used for torture.....well i got out of that room asap after she was done and left poor Jami alone with her male masseuse...lo siento! But listen I had to go see sunlight and make myself know that the world was really a good place despite what was taking place in these Korean rooms of torture and humiliation.

So I waited for the girls to be done, and as many know I cannot just sit still so I ventured into each of the different types of saunas, which are unisex, and thankfully clothes are required (and by clothes I mean the ridiculous uniforms they give everyone to wear - fyi pink and orange are not flattering when one is pale!) ....I then decided to go downstairs for some ridiculous reason only to find a festive party of vaginas walking around...no towels, not even just a towel to cover up the nether region ....WHY???? Well, it's like a train wreck you cannot help but look, despite the forest areas which needed to be cleared asap. I ran upstairs like a child that had just been offered candy from a man driving a pedophile van....and waited for the girls, who all looked like I did as we left the "massage" - shocked, hurt, and bewildered.

This day was definitely one for the books. I will stick to red door where privacy is respected as is the vagina rule - no need to flash your vagina, ever! How I look forward to my next massage there where they will not go above my upper thigh, where my ass won't get massaged, and where no one straddles my back.

The day was overall and fun though simply because of the laughs incurred and the stories that will last a lifetime.

FYI if your loved one wants to go here, please be forewarned that they will come back a little sexually scared.

kids these days....

my 10 year old nephew asked me last night if I knew who Dane Cook was....I told him yes and that i have seen him live. He was in shock - I guess he didn't think I would know. Apparently, the little one (who really is not so little anymore) watches Dane Cook bits on YouTube and was reciting some of it to me. yes. hello 2009. hello new generation. i can't stand how fast he is growing up. wahhhh.

i should not be allowed to watch tv AND run

this morning as I am running on the treadmill at the gym (ps i have really come to enjoy running mainly because of how it is changing my body and not for any other reason) and so I am flipping stations, about to plug in my ipod instead when I come to Channel 2 news and their segments on everyday "Angels" - special people in our country.

Today's Angel was a young boy with cerebral palsy from Texas....He was chosen as an Angel and his dream was to be granted....his dream was to sit front row at a baseball game....Well as I write this I get goosebumps because the excitement this boy exuded as they wheeled him onto the grass at Citifield was so touching. He got to meet all the Mets, including his favorite David Wright....I am tearing now as i write this. Asd I am watching this and running I start to cry...like really cry....not because I feel bad for the boy but because of how happy I was to see how happy he was! He was truly so excited for this moment in his life!!! The followed up by having him live on the show where they presented him and his mom with gifts and a trip o Disney. He squealed with delight. And my tears continued to flow. Oy.

So of course what a wonderful moment for this young boy and how wonderful it made me feel to witness his joy.

BUT let's discuss how I can even allow myself to cry on the treadmill, running at full speed, at 8am in a somehwat busy gym. The man next to me was frightened and totally thought I was experiencing some menstrual related.

let's discuss

i have decided that need to have a talk show. i shall call it let's discuss. picture: the soup meets chelsea handler meets tyra ala judge judy....yes, it will be fab and i also plan on screaming and pronouncing names and phrases like oprah! and giving out fab gifts and prizes like shamwows and the topsy turvy tomato planter.

in the meantime, i am still on the hunt....trying each and everyday. i know something will break. it has to.